This week spilled over with lots of activities and sweets at the school where I teach. In my host country we celebrated Children's Day on September 9th. As a result the sermon or talk this morning at church reflected upon the nature and rights of children.

The lady speaker said we live in an adult-centered world where children are subjected to the whims of adults who have authority over them. The idea reminded me of Pink Floyd's, "The Wall: We Don't Need No Education" with it's piercing protest, -- "All in all, you're just another brick in the wall." When I first heard this revolutionary song in 1993, I thought it was diabolical. Now, I've come to see a lot of truth in the lyrics.

Unfortunately, adults speak as if they are the OWNERS of the truth and act as if they have the last say on everything. I thought it was an interesting view since our society seems to idealize youth (as a way of marketing products) while treating them as inferior beings on the other hand.

The speaker also shared how this is one of the most challenging periods in history in which to raise children, because so many technological advances are competing for their attention. Adults will do anything to appease their offspring materially, while being too busy to be involved in any way with their spiritual and emotional development. The result is that children do not have a model of how to relate to God or else the model is defective, oppressive or too rigid. The speaker asked, "What concept do parents transmit to their children about the nature of God? Do they delegate this responsibility to someone else (like a Sunday school teacher)?

The speaker finished by pointing out that Jesus not only defended children, but considered them to be the model to follow because of their believing, trustful nature.

As an educator, I'm reflecting about this sermon, because most of my adult responses toward children follow a subconscious script of how I was treated when I was a child. It takes a lot of inner work to bring those past experiences into the conscious world in order to be able to view them objectively and correct them. Often a red light flashes on my dash, telling me that my tone was too severe or that I wasn't listening to what the student was trying to communicate. Too often, I have to catch myself reacting rather than responding -- something so slow to change.

Overcoming Emotional Chaos

It's taken me a long time to see the turbulance inside of me -- a state I grew up with and therefore hardly noticed. Like a fish inside water, it has no idea what any other environment looks or feels like. That's how I sometimes feel even today.


I'm reading a challenging book, entitled, "Overcoming Emotional Chaos" and will be sharing insights that the two authors express. The one idea I've grasped so far is that blaming and lashing out only works against oneself. Blaming (even well deserved blame) drains the blamer rather than the blamee. It's important to grow in what promotes healing even when the principles feel foreign and difficult to implement (at first).

--Reflector

The more you love Him...

Jesus made his way to a formal and rather stuffy dinner party one day. In human terms, many important religious figures had arrived when a lady of ‘reputation’ walked in from the street and made the most surprising entrance. She got down on her knees to wet Jesus’ feet with her tears. She wiped them with her HAIR, kissed them and poured an expensive perfume on them. Now, if you want to attract attention, that’s the way to do it. It not only attracted attention, but also a huge dose of chronic disapproval and censorship.

Wearing a big open wound, this woman expressed the depths of her love to Jesus openly and without fear. That’s what God saw. If she was concerned about what others might think, she could have waited until Jesus was alone somewhere away from the crowd, but she chose to show her love overtly. Washing feet was a common courtesy paid to guests in the Jewish traditions of that time, but somehow it was omitted. After all if only the important men were attending, who would attend to the important men?

Tricky question aye? In any case, the woman showed that common courtesy in a most extraordinary way! She threw herself at the Lord’s feet, but not in a sensual, erotic passion as the teachers of the Law interpreted it, but with pure spiritual ardor. What does this impassioned display have to do with us? What does it mean?This story is clearly not a call to do embarrassing things in public. It is not about wearing our emotions on our sleeve or being an open book to everyone. The message is that we urgently need God if we want true healing and forgiveness. Simon and his elite group rejected the woman because Pharisees measured love by external obedience. They were rigid in their viewpoint that it was impossible for them to believe a prostitute could ever change and turn to God.

The woman recognized her sin was great, so her gratitude to God was great. The Scribe saw his sin as small and insignificant, so his gratitude to God was small. Jesus’ conclusion was that “her many sins had been forgiven – for she loved much. But the self righteous person believes he has little to be forgiven. Therefore, the idea behind this message is that God’s love is relevant only to those who recognize their brokenness, and not those who think they are healthy. One commentator wrote that in Biblical thought, man’s act of sin was regarded as a loss of freedom and a loss of his or her humanity. In Christ, we regain freedom and our humanity is restored.

-- TR © 2008

The desert... God's perscription!

If love is measured by degree of cooperation, then God must seem like an unfriendly fellow, for many times the idea He asserts is, “You will progress when I say so.” For example, when God freed the people of Israel from their slave masters in Egypt, that freedom was physical, but liberty from the chains of Egypt was only the beginning. Heart change was the second phase. We know from Deuteronomy 8:2 that it took forty years before this phase was completed -- a phase which is referred to as the wilderness wanderings. The desert was the prescription God had proposed before the Promised Land could be achieved.

Internal change precedes external change. A change of heart preceded a change of lifestyle. Instead of a short cut or temporary measure, true change would be implemented in a long torturous way. Although God’s people had already suffered four hundred years of slavery, it was not enough. The desert was necessary. Now if that process was necessary in the Old Testament, what makes the Christian believe the New Testament process could be any different? Why does modern Christianity maximize the Promised Land while minimizing the wanderings in the wilderness? Are we expecting grace in an oasis or His mercy and presence when times get tough?

Much of the teaching in the Church has been contaminated by worldly influences that demand quick, dramatic, superficial solutions. The Christian may come to believe that coming to Christ is designed to eliminate a difficult, pain-filled life – as if Christianity were a graduation. Life is going to be wonderful -- and the definition of wonderful is the numbing of pain.

Perhaps this is part of the reason Christians get so discouraged when the path gets hard and rocky. Even worse they suppress their despair and disguise it, maintaining an appearance of contentment, but their passion eventually gravitates elsewhere. They become disappointed because they expected the spiritual life to work according to human terms.

Sometimes waiting is progressWaiting is a self-controlling progress. When people are threatened, human resources come to the forefront. How could God expect people to wait so long? Dr. Lawrence Crabb recreates the scene of the wilderness wonderfully in his book, Inside-Out. He comments that perhaps a few of the Israelites had felt insensitively treated by the pace. Why? God didn’t consult his people regarding departure and arrival schedules. Where were the committees, counsels, and executives to ratify his decisions. God’s way of doing things often seems designed to frustrate us.

Sometimes progress has an indefinite time line The wilderness was a long journey, no a matter of days or months, but one that lasted forty years. Consider these years as an indefinite time line, because for the unbeliever the desert can last thirty, forty, fifty, or even an eternity. God’s mercy provides opportunities that appear to be without limit. But if the individual refuses to change, then the only progress is the progressing of years and that is all.

The most influential person in the learning process is the student himself. If mediocrity is the goal, life will provide all the excuse one needs to live like the Israelites did during their forty years in the wilderness. God has horizons for us to discover. Since the Christian is light and salt, it is a sin for him to imitate others especially the world. Some Christians feel compelled to do this out of a fear of boring their followers. People swallow the story that the Church is a boring place and that the world is the exciting place to be.

[This meditation is based upon Numbers 9: 15-23]

© TR 2007

beyond the superficial

photo credit

One Toronto morning while I strolling through a nearby drug store, I noticed this greeting card by artist Gary Larson with the caption, "Wish I'd brought a magazine". Larson couldn't have made a more stinging indictment on religion. Through this fuddy-duddy caricature I came to an awareness that even though I devoted much time to church and religious activities, something was grossly missing in my life.
 
Literary writers have described it in terms of a superficial understanding about oneself, about others and about our true nature. We seem to make excuses and resist our true calling to journey inwardly or spiritually. We dread discovering what's below the surface of the ice berg. However, to the extent we avoid this journey, we invite shallowness of personhood and the ultimate possibility of a broken-world experience.
 
Intuitivefeeling © 2008

 

Humility vs. haughty religiosity...

“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real” -- Thomas Merton


Jesus’ coming to earth is so familiar to us that we take it for granted. He inhabited eternal glory; He left heaven and chose to live in a toxic environment cursed with envy, evil and confusion; He willingly put aside His almighty brute strength in order to teach man an unforgettable lesson about humility.Imagine for one moment that you were God’s Only Son? How would you have chosen to reveal yourself?


I personally would have preferred to appear to men in superman fashion; the super hero with extraordinary powers, conquering the enemy in dramatic-showdown fashion! God could have demonstrated His tremendous power over the disobedient. He could have performed miracles on demand. He could have silenced everyone, and yet the Father decided to send Jesus, the Servant.Man is prone to pride and this doesn’t limit itself to material prosperity as we often assume. John Owen was aware of this when he wrote, “Self-confidence produces a large part of our weakness as it did with Peter. Whoever boasts that he can do anything, can in fact do nothing as he should. This is the worst form of weakness, similar to treachery. However strong a castle may be, if a treacherous party resides inside (ready to betray at the first opportunity possible), the castle cannot be safe from the enemy. Traitors occupy our own hearts, ready to side with every temptation and surrender to all.”


God knew man’s tendency toward pride when He sent the Son. He understood the lust we have for the praise of men and how even good things can feed that lust. Spiritual benefits were designed to equip us as servants, not to make us arrogant and self-complacent. Jesus resisted self-glory even though He had the right to it. Although Christ received the loftiest position possible, He never promoted self-importance. He had no need to prove He was the strongest, the wisest or the best. Therefore, let’s remember that humility is the lubricant that gives spirituality its radiance, unity and flow.

-- Refle © 2008

Character grows out of crisis

I'd like to share a little about me...

Character grows out of crisis. Being less concerned about how I'm coming across, I lean toward a less rule-bound Christian outlook -- outside-the-box approach to spirituality. I dislike simplistic answers and clichés. I seek authenticity -- without pretense, accepting myself as a sinner saved by His grace. I have just come out of a disorienting period of life (separation), emphatic that Christ alone is able to renew. I'm His disciple and like my Master break with religiosity and fanaticism.

I enjoy heartfelt conversations, harmonous relationships and quiet sometimes even artistic activities. I believe in cultivating the inner life, so as not to get pulled into the empty vortex of the external world. I gave away my TV because I'd rather be making my own scripts than watching them.

Oddly enough, as quiet as I am I still haven't grow up to ever stop Rollerblading and do it with pizzaz! I enjoy interpreting music through skate dancing once a week -- love releasing those endorphins!!! I'm imaginative, a tad bit insecure but not clingy, dramatic, jealous nor possessive. As a feeling individual, I bring a strong base of empathy, humor, authenticity --truly appreciating affection and romance.

My career is a mix of disciplines: visual arts, creativity, pastoral studies and now counseling. My goal is to train to be a Christian counselor, especially in the areas of Codependency, Emotional Dependency and Anxious Emotional Attachment.

Thanks for reading.

Dare to be love...

In love we embrace
In love we let go
New vistas to taste
From goodbye to hello
Dare to be love
To the life that we are
Into love that finds time
And verses that rhyme
What is this healing
That reaches the skies?
Why find such favor
Coming from your eyes?
Dare to be love
What could that mean?
Living is giving
Never diminishing
Dare to be love
Without our consent?
Aren’t we responsible
For our own content?
A heart needs a self
To become one flesh
Never two halves
Wholly unselfish
Dare to be love
Deep from within
Where God abounds
And joy ascends
Where no one can take
Our sweet love away
From inside is better
On each cloudy day
Dare to be love
My rose-petal friend
The hedge once gone
Has flowered again
The long silence ended
Our knees to the ground
The love we embrace
T o ...n e w ...h e a r t-b e a t ...s o u n d s

-- TR

My crown is in my heart...

"My crown is in my heart,not on my head;
Not decked with diamonds,and Indian stones,
Nor to be seen;
my crown is called content;
A crown it is that seldom kings enjoy."
-- Shakespeare

Self-awareness is about tuning into your spirit and the inner life on a deeper level. You gain confidence by having God as your confidante: being honest with Him, asking Him the right questions and trusting that all the answers lie with with Christ. Listening to God’s word and that "inner voice" of wisdom, you and I are empowered to take a stand, be our own person and live truth. Passion lies at the center of our spirit, in the marrow of our bones, and in the deep recesses of the soul. At the heart of all great literature, poetry, art, philosophy, psychology, and religion lies the naming and analysing of this aspiration.

Spirituality is, ultimately, about what we do with our unrest. What we do with our longings, both in terms of handling the pain and the hope they bring us, that is our spirituality . . . Augustine says: 'You have made us for yourself, Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.' Christ responds to our unrest. He helps us find peace as we struggle to reconcile irreconcilable human issues, like: how do I live a generous and moral life, and at the same time, how do I "follow my bliss"? How do I make holy choices when these two urges -- for service to others and for service to self -- meet in the crucible of my daily life? How do I balance my conflicting longings for individuality and community, freedom and responsibility, power and meekness, wildness and civility?Spiritual passion allows us to dream. It is the spark that ignites the fuel within us to create something of ourselves. It is inspiring. Passion is exciting. It is invigorating. Without it our lives can become commonplace, tedious, mindless shells of existence.

-- TR

When God doesn't cooperate...

“Resentment is the belief that we are entitled to whatever we want.” -- mine

A large part of our struggle with God is that He doesn't always cooperate. This can be thorny, because He has all the power going for Him and we don't always accept this simple equation. I chose the passage of Mark 7:24-30 because Jesus' words in response to the Syrophoenician Woman’s request for her daughter’s healing appear so out of character. It seems he is mouthing the very words of the Pharisees of his generation and how they despised the gentiles as subhuman. Jesus could have been speaking tongue-in-cheek, testing the woman. Jesus definitely throws a curve ball at the woman yet it was her meek response to Jesus that He viewed as an act of faith.

I like to plunge into these kind of apparently contradictory texts, because we know that God is consistent even when He appears to be contradicting Himself.

Jesus had come for the sake of God's chosen people. They were His children. He reminded the woman of that fact -- the need for the children to be fed first. The term Jesus uses for "dogs" is a diminutive term in Greek. It refers not to the scavenger dogs, which were despised in Israel; but to the little, pet, house dogs, with which the children played.

Jesus is emphatic, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel." This was not meant to suggest that he was not interested in the woman's petition, he was simply reminding her of the proper course of his public ministry.However, this woman skillfully turned the Lord's metaphor to her advantage.”

Note all the hindrances that were thrown in this woman’s way, which only increased here faith.
• she had to find Jesus in an obscure place
• she was a gentile approaching a Jew
• she was a woman approaching a man in an era where that was not appropriate to do
• Jesus’ divine commission was focused on the Jewish believers

This passage can greatly help us when we happen to be caught up with a sense of entitlement, pride, or claims of victimization. Nearly every ethnicity, gender, age, etc. gives rise to charges of mistreatment and demands for remedial action. At all times we need to temper our persistence with humility. God is not obligated to help us, and any insistence on our part with arrogance only makes life harder. If you have any doubt about what entitlement means Laskowski makes it clear... Entitlement is an unrecognized attitude that undermines healing. “

This is the conundrum of what I shall call "entitlement"–a psychological state in which one feels he or she has the right to (i.e., is entitled to) rewards, special privileges, or recognition based on personal merit, achievement, or character. Psychologists and other mental health providers are in positions at particular risk for feelings of entitlement, and it is my goal to raise psychologists' awareness of this attitude and provide methods to avoid such feelings.”

Current American culture emphasizes the importance and rights of the individual and encourages interpersonal competition. People have undergone a significant amount of training, have sacrificed themselves financially and in relationships, have worked hard to excel in their careers, and value the wisdom they have accumulated, etc.¨ -- John G. Laskowski Wheaton College

Jesus will appear offensive to the proud and the unbelieving: if He is right, they are wrong! The Syrophoenician woman appealed to Jesus’ mercy, not his justice! God uses situations of need to draw us to Himself. It's true whenever things are going well in our lives, when there are no apparent needs, we become self-sufficient. It is as if we think we have everything under control and that we have a right to whatever we want.

A.W. Tozer put it this way:“The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather, he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God's estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is, in the sight of God, more important than angels. ... He knows well that the world will never see him as God sees him and he has stopped caring.”

© TR 2007

Broken pipe dreams...

Here in Costa Rica it sometimes takes weeks before the water company ever gets around to repair a broken pipe in the middle of public way, especially if that pipe is under the surface of the road in an unassuming manner. I've been musing upon a broken water pipe these days that had gradually, but most effectively eroded part of the road close to where I lived. I had to ask myself, ¨How could something so imperceptible like water have such power to break apart solid materials? Each morning I would walk by, amazed how this element that is so compliant that when you try to grasp it, it seeps between your fingers.

I decided I would convert this ¨broken pipe dream¨ into an analogy of the invisible spiritual realm. So much of what we are is immaterial to the senses, and so our hidden valuable treasures may be ignored. However, just as water is perceived as soft and weak, yet has power to crumb hard asphalt, we also have powerful resources inside us to impact our society.

Confidence in prayer...

When praying we need to assume God needs no convincing. While the widow asking for help provoked the judge, our asking pleases God. Asking is not a luxury, but a deep human need.

As a boy, and before Caller ID devices were invented, I used to call my mother while she was at work. After routinely asking the receptionist to transfer the call, I’d hear my mother talk through her impersonal “business-as-usual” voice that she would use to address the public. When she identified who I was, however, her voice filled with empathy, love and the warmth that I was always used to. I didn’t need any persuasive techniques for her to shift from impersonal to personal mode. The simple cue that she was addressing her son was enough to make the change. How important it is to feel this sense of belonging to God in prayer.

We need this kind of confidence when approaching Him, an almost “I-can-do-no-wrong” approach to Him. Nothing I can say or do can alienate me from Him. I feel safe and know that He will not use my defects against me.I know this kind of repose in God is rare. We are used to responding so much to conditional love that our asking is often full of justification, apology and rehearsing. When praying we need to assume God needs no convincing. We do not ask coldly or mechanically, but need to learn to pray knowing He loves us.

TR 2007

True discipleship...

Discipleship and Pastoral accompaniment has been traditionally restricted to identifying sinful thoughts and behaviors of the individual with no thought to the motives that drive the behaviors.

Discipleship in Christ Jesus involves spiritual, emotional, PHYSICAL and psychological healing thus ... redemption and renewal as a primary goal. It is interesting that many Christian discipleship programs seek holiness without thought to healing at all. From my experience holiness is the fruit of healing rather than the other way around.Interactive sharing such as we have here at Blog Land helps to develop a 'habit of inquiry' cultivating a holding place for personal healing and growth.

We all need a safe place that facilitates an unveiling where we are able to see ourselves with greater clarity and at the same time give fuller expression to our feelings... and actually find our voice. Above all this safe haven of personal expression can become for us a source of serenity that comes from acceptance of ourselves and others rather than denial or resistance to the realities that surround us.

Rarely are we invited to talk about those defining moments of our childhood that sometimes creep into our present simply because we have swept those experiences under the carpet.I wrote some questions for your reflection, but if you feel like answering one or two, and sharing that would be wonderful too.

What kind of upbringing did you experience? Was there favoritism toward anyone sibling? Which parent seemed to favor whom? Did you grow up in a religious background? How would you describe it? Was it too strict? Was it too permissive? Was it an environment where outward appearances were the most important factor? What do you tend to put off or ignore? What tasks or situations do you avoid that pull you out of your comfort zone?What traits do you look for in someone whom you can confide in or whom you could possibly consider a confidant?

© Troubled Reflector 2007

"Christianese"

When I first arrived in Costa Rica, I would stop by a photo copy place quite often and it didn’t take long to figure out that the employees were Christian by the way they talked to each other. They’d use the usual phrases that sound somewhat odd to anybody outside the Church experience.

For example imagine what kind of impact, ¨We’re washed in the blood of the Lamb¨ could make?

Personally, I refrain from using these patterned phrases even when I’m inside the church walls though I respect those who do use them. Anyway, the day I sought to befriend the members of this group (at the copy-machine place), letting them know I was also a Christian, they handed me a Biblical track with a look of unbelief in their eyes. Why? Coz, I didn’t speak their lingo.


David Yeubanks comments, “Most often we are compelled to respond a certain way, feel a certain way, look a certain way, act a certain way – even when that ‘act’ denies what is truly going on inside us. Most of us who have attended Church our whole Christian lives do not really feel free to be openly, blatantly honest about what’s really in our hearts, so we put on smiles, speak in ‘Christianese’ and learn to react to situations and engage in conversations with patterned responses.”


Authenticity is a powerful human connector and positive change agent. Roman 12:9 says that love is to be free of pretense. Sincerity invites people closer, not religious form. I think one great obstacles to God’s message is when we Christians try to show care in a language that we ourselves don’t understand or at least is too vague, but which is ingrained in us. What are these phrases? Like most groups, Christians have a specialized language for those who are truly "in the know".


Before you read any further, I found a cute list of phrases from an Internet site (don’t remember where). Please take in mind that the examples are written tongue-in-cheek and are not intended to offend or mock anyone. Also, the meaning behind each patterned saying is subjective. Many sincere believers use ¨Christianese¨ because they’re not aware it’s patterned or stereotyped, and so perhaps it’s the only way they know how to express their thoughts…

Translation of most common phrases:

Christianese: "If it be God's will."
Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one.
Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer."
Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time."
Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift."
Translation: "Find someone else."
Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Translation: "I'm totally clueless."
Christianese: "Lord willing . . ."
Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't."
Christianese: "I don't feel led."
Translation: "Can't make me."
Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!"
Translation: "What an airhead!"
Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him."
Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!"
Christianese: "Prayer concerns"
Translation: "Gossip"
Christianese: "In conclusion . . . "
Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so."
Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands."
Translation: "Don't expect me to help you."
Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!"
Translation: "Give me your money."
Ron Hutchcraft explains further by saying,

“Our ‘Christianese’ encourages a person to "accept Christ as your personal Savior." We are so accustomed to the phrase, it seldom occurs to us that such a statement does not even register on the screen of most people. The average person’s concept of "accepting" a person is nowhere near the biblical imperative of putting one’s total trust in Jesus. The word Savior is seldom used in modern conversation and certainly not in a way that clearly communicates what Christ did for us on the Cross. Asking someone to "receive Christ" is also likely to leave the unspoken response, "I have no idea what that means." Many years ago, people spoke of "receiving" a guest, but these days we "receive" a package or a letter. When we ask someone, "Would you like to receive Christ?" he will likely wonder what we mean. To add to the confusion, there are religious traditions where members "receive Christ" every time they partake of the elements of Holy Communion. Some of our most precious faith-words can be misconstrued, misrepresented, and misunderstood. A few years ago a bumper sticker read: "Jesus saves — but Moses invests." While such irreverence makes us wince, it illustrates how confusing our words can be. For many of the people who need Christ most, a call to be "saved" is baffling.”
We need down-to-earth intelligible words to express what is often an intangible spiritual realm. God is the Lord of freshness, rather than patterned speech, often overblown tired phrases that truncate conversation rather than stimulate it. We are meant to be God’s messengers with an unmistakable individuality. May we replace our ‘Christianese” into life giving words that draw us closer to each other rather than isolating each other.

-- Refle

The price of dreams…

Passion lies at the center of our spirit, in the marrow of our bones, in the deepest recesses of the soul. At the heart of all great literature, poetry, art, philosophy, theater, psychology, and religion lies the naming and analyzing of this elusive aspiration that we typically call dreaming.

Augustine wrote that Christian spirituality is about what we do with our unrest, both in terms of handling the pain and the hope they bring us . . . He stated: 'You have made us for yourself, Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.' Christ responds to our unrest as no other being could ever respond. His life spilled over with passionate love when He walked the earth... so that everyone who came in contact with him either loved him or hated him, but one had to have been pretty poisoned to have done the latter.

Christian spiritual passion allows us to dream. It is the spark that ignites the fuel within us to create something of ourselves. It is inspiring, exciting, and invigorating. Without it our lives can become commonplace, tedious, mindless shells of existence.Whenever I feel empty and don’t know where to turn, I find God meets me in His Word and my writing. I can pour out to Him whatever I’m feeling in the most lyrical terms I can find where the richest parts of me are saturated with a mix of pain and joy.

Donald Miller wrote, ¨Self-discipline will never make us feel righteous or clean; accepting God’s love will. The ability to accept God’s unconditional grace and ferocious love is all the fuel we need to obey Him in return... God woos us with kindness. He changes our character with the passion of His love.Our ´behavior´will not be changed long with self-discipline, but with love a human will accomplish what he never thought possible. The laziest of men will swim the English Channel to win his woman... by accepting God’s love ...we have the fuel we need to obey.¨ -- D. Miller

I think what Miller is saying is that the healing power of God’s love leads the way to sanctification, but that we like to put the cart before the horse seeking to change ourselves first in order to find love... I’ve tried that one for many years and it only produced a form of religiosity that secretly dies of boredom.

I’d like to finish this topic with one more Miller quote,¨I am learning to believe better things. I am learning to believe other people exist, that fashion is not truth; rather Jesus is the most important figure in history and the gospel is the most powerful force in the universe. I am learning not to be passionate about empty things, but to cultivate passion for justice, grace, truth and communicate the ideal that Jesus likes people (that is, He is not angry and aloof) and even loves them.¨

Miller discovered the secret to love by understanding how God risked Himself for you and me, therefore I will risk myself on you, so that together we learn to love by this same gravity that drew Him unto us.

© TR 2007

Blue Christmas...

I know it is expected that we be brimming with euphoria during these festive days. It has been a somewhat difficult Christmas vacation for me so far, intermingled with a few moments of laughter.

I don’t know why, but sometimes the pain of life feels more oppressive during Christmas. I begin to feel scared, left out, and as hard as it is for a man to admit it, quite needy. I go from alone to lonely and from explorer to wanderer. In times like these I need to find a hiding place and give full expression of my deepest feelings. This has been one way I truly heal when I can truly be myself.

Love must be something much greater than I learned growing up. If it is so wonderful, if it is the answer - then love sets me free as well as those around me. I know something inside is amiss but it’s not always clear what is going on.

If love is freedom then what does that mean? In reality love doesn’t solve anything. Love only reveals who I am. And it is good that love makes me aware of what goes on inside. It means freedom from shame, judgment, loneliness and freedom from feeling unacceptable. It is a recovery of the lost self - from the bottomless abyss of pain and shame and sadness that I have felt at the core of my being since childhood.

Anyway, my Christmas as you can see, hasn’t come from ornaments, lots of food and shopping, but necessary reflection where Jesus Christ at times becomes center stage, but not always...

© Reflector 2006