right to relax

“At the cost of eliminating egotism, we have trampled over self worth. If human beings merit respect that is an intrinsic right of all mankind, then this right needs to be extended to the self.” -- W. Riso

I’m reading Walter Riso, an Argentian counselor and university professor. The book is titled, “Learning Self Worth.” Riso argues how easy it is for the inner life to get sucked into the vortex of hurry sickness, discord, competition, individualism and obsession with appearances. Even though it’s hard to admit it. A friend translated this message in Biblical terms saying life is like being a Mary in a world where the Marthas rule.

A wise man once said our search for approval can be so wide and so deep it can convert itself in a serpentine insecurity. What develops over the years is an anxiety to please, instead of a healthy philosophy of questioning and exercising our own criteria. We become socially conditioned to yield our power of decision as if we were second class citizens, convinced we have to conform.

Walter Riso says civilization indoctrinates us toward respect, sacrifice, altruism, love, kindness and communication as something devoted only toward others and never to be applied to self. He states:

“Unfortunately, our mentality has been focused upon what others think as being more important than what we think and so we become victims of such ill fate. Our culture has taught us to carry an invisible stick that is ready to inflict harm upon ourselves each time we commit errors or don’t quite measure up to our own standards or personal goals. We’ve learned to blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong and never take credit for that which is successful. If we fail, we take the blame. If we are successful, it was pure luck. Self-criticism is good and productive if we administer it with care.”
Lack of self worth is demonstrated in our view of spare time. Riso raises the some points worth considering:

“If work dignifies man, so does rest and recreation. We plan so rigorously our working day with schedules, budgets, visits here and there, even an oil change for the car and dentist appointments. However, when it comes to free time, we view it as something altogether residual… something left over and many times we have no idea what to do with it. Work is considered sacred while free time is not. Society pushes us at a rate of 100 miles per hour where there’s no time to contemplate the scenery. If anyone stops, everyone one else will run this person over in the dust.”

It's good to learn to feel comfortable in your own skin and to feel it’s ever too late to learn.
~ intuitivefeeling

*originally written 2008

Midnight seranade and consumerism...

A little while ago, a neighbor had a serenade for his wife. It’s impossible not to notice as the apartments where I live are close in proximity and the music unusually loud. What called my attention however, wasn’t so much the serenade as the musical pieces that the musicians were playing – pieces that are played OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN at each party.

After 19 years of living in Costa Rica I know all five songs by memory. It’s a little bit of a let down whenever I hear the trumpets begin to sound -- kinda like those electronic greeting cards that play the rickety music when you open them -- the kind you usually receive through the old traditional snail mail. Anyway, these Mariachis seem to move about in ant-like formation from one place to another in a hurry to move on... somewhere else.I don’t know what pleasure anyone would get from hearing this kind of thing. No doubt there are classy Mariachis because I have heard them while in Medellin, Colombia. At the end of such a delightful concert even I would feel grateful, even though it was not intended for me. Imagine? When something is so magnificently done, you can’t help feel part of it even when you’re not.

This reflection must serve for some kind of self-evaluation I'm sure. What things to I do that are somewhat mechanical … where I just want to do the minimum and move on? I mean sometimes we get so wrapped up in the routine of life that even the special occasions are treated in a routine way. How am I like those commercialized serenades or those CONSUMERISM birthday parties where the parents take every body to Burger King, MacDonald’s, Pizza Hut, etc., with those same games, same cake, same children’s music, same piñata, the same food and the same convenience of not having to clean up the house afterward?

Yeah, I guess kids don’t seem to care one way or the other whether we go the way of the "generic" or something a little more real… but to me it just leaves a huge void and perhaps some indigestion too. Ufff! We only live once, so why not do it with individuality? Aren’t those we love worth a little more originality?

-- Troubled Reflector © 2008