Friday, December 23, 2011

grief work

Picture Credit

People are generally threatened by emotional vulnerability. Whenever you happen to open up to others, you'll find their eyes oftentimes glaze over. This reflex is strongly aligned to society’s emotional insulation. LeoTolstoy in his novel “The Death of Ivan Ilyich" tells the story of society's deep commitment to this insulation. Everyone wants the main character Ivan to believe he will pull through his sickness when all evidence proves contrary. It's the typical portrait of the denial. As one commentator wrote,

“The artificial life is marked by shallow relationships, self-interest, and materialism. It is insular, unfulfilling, and ultimately incapable of providing answers to the important questions in life. The artificial life is a deception that hides life's true meaning and leaves one terrified and alone at the moment of death.”

Parental figures and authorities involuntarily mistreat us because they were mistreated by previous generations.  These unresolved traumas get swept under the rug and therefore interfere with our present adult existence producing codependence, addictions, depression, mental illness and anxiety.

-- intuitivefeeling


upsi said...

I can relate to that deadness. It's a very strange and uncanny sensation, knowing that something is missing without words to name it. I'm sending you courage to grieve - most would rather remain dead.


Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a blog post I wrote about my grandmother's death last year and how my uncle's wife dealt (or actually didn't deal) with his open expressions of grief.

You can read the story here:

By the way, I sent you an email. Hopefully it won't get sent to the junk mail folder. :)

Reflector said...


Your corrier service of courage reached my door this minute. The fragrance came as a bouquet of flowers.


Reflector said...


I missed you. I revisited your post and yes both our messages resonated with each other. We usually do.


Munish said...

liked reading it...only regret is why i do not similar people in real life with whom we can share such thoughts...this emptiness this lack of 'connection' at deeper level with people around pretty much