Life has a way of throwing curve balls at us. It´s often hard to distinguish just how much of what we feel is real and how much is just our imagination running wild. I think that is what I find so consoling about God´s laboratory, the one we call, ¨intimacy¨.
I wrote a friend just recently how close friends can impact life so that we feel as though their tears or triumphs were our own. When we establish closeness we are permitted to experience the soul from the poet's deep and unveiled viewpoint. Humans have a great urge to go off on the unbeaten path in search for truth -- with our serendipitous and often bumbling tenacity for exploration. Intimacy to me represents that tortuous internal journey of perpetual discovery.
It's odd how one moment we can be strong writing or helping a friend and in another moment feeling like the seams of my life are unfastening before us with all the raw emotions exposed. Sometimes I am in that hole and will need you to pull me out and sometimes you are in the pit.
Many people wonder how we can find God without falling into an array of religious trappings and patterned responses, but seeking, truly seeking the truth as it reflects upon life. I believe the answer is found in deeper level friendships. For example, I am fighting internally with myself these days. I need to deal with a self-contradicting syndrome that I now perceive in myself. What do I do when a part of me wants to be a drifter ... while the other part desires to belong and finally get rooted?
I know that the confusion and complexity of life is inevitable, yet what is not inevitable is to be able to approach life with a tender yet courageous heart... far, far away from the stale, patterned responses that are numb and mechanical. When we are able to share our affliction with another, we often feel the burden lifted.
Lastly, I think our closeness with Jesus Christ is reflected in how we grow close to others. We cannot hope to find intimacy with God being isolated from others, just as we cannot hope to find intimacy with others being isolated from God. It´s not meant to be a either/or decision, but both areas working together side by side. It's taking me some time to grow close to others after being traumatized by a disorder personality, but I'm determined to get integrated again one day.
© Reflector 2007
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