Living in your head...

One experienced pastor once asked his fellow colleagues, ¨Do you know how to ruin a Bible Study?¨ The others just looked at him in amazement. He responded, ¨Just invite seasoned Christians¨ That bold statement perplexed me at first, but months later it made sense to me. Before, I used to be silently disturbed about church life. I felt it had a stifling effect but I rarely ever bothered to question why.

Now as I understand and see with a little more clarity. It’s difficult to put into words, but the Christian culture sometimes feels more like the canned products you buy in the supermarket than the fresh stuff you prepare yourself. Some sermons, for example could have easily been delivered by an android and get more results! Could it be that many Christians have developed their intellectual abilities at the price of sacrificing their emotional mind? Let’s think about it.

¨Are you one of those people who pride themselves on being rational and logical in everything you do, including your relationships? Do you cherish a certain image of yourself as unflappable, unemotional and reasonable in the way you solve problems and in your relationship? If the answer is ´yes´ you may be one of the Mr. Spocks of this world -- those folks who conduct their relationships based primarily on intellect, not passion... You may even incite your partner into intense emotional exasperation because of your emotionally minimalist posture.¨

¨On the surface, you are proud to live in your head rather than your heart -- you are proud not to be ruled by your emotions. But on deeper examination, you may discover that you fear your emotions and are afraid of losing control. You don’t trust what you feel, and you are afraid of what your emotions might do to you and to others. You don’t want to be hurt, so you refuse to engage in emotional displays. For you, feelings are messy, dangerous matters, best left to those who choose to live life with emotional turbulence. ¨

¨Living in your head may give you the illusion of a greater sense of control over your life. It may seem to reduce the pain of living with hurt, disappointment, and disillusionment. In fact, many women and men who experienced pain by escaping into their books, becoming analytical geniuses, and dodging their emotions behind a barricade of theories and facts.¨Now, as I read these paragraphs, it seems clearer why I grew so wary of the deadness that surrounded some churches. It becomes so sterile at times you wonder whatever became of God.*¨Self-control does not come from controlling our feelings, but from feeling our feelings."

-- Jeanne Segal

© TR 2007